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Building Confidence from Within: Removing the Barriers to Self-Belief

Updated: Mar 6




We live in a world where the desire for more is rampant. Society tells us we need more possessions, accolades, and validation to feel better about ourselves. This constant need for external validation significantly impacts our confidence levels. But the reality is confidence is an inside job, and we have the power to choose how we feel about ourselves.

It is a common misconception that we must add something to our lives or change something about ourselves to feel good. However, you can change how you think of yourself simply by deciding to do so.

Our lack of confidence often stems from the belief that we need something or someone outside of ourselves to validate our worth. This need for validation actually contributes to our lack of confidence. Confident individuals, on the other hand, don't feel the need to prove themselves to anyone. Their confidence comes from within.

So how can we build our confidence from within?

It starts with addressing and challenging the beliefs that undermine our self-confidence.

Don't Over personalize Rejection:

One belief that hinders confidence is the tendency to over-personalize rejection. People struggle with rejection because they internalize it and believe that it reflects something inherently wrong with them. In reality, success and failure are nebulous terms, and outcomes in life are not solely dependent on our efforts. Many factors influence outcomes, and separating our self-worth from external validation is essential.

Confront Your Real Issues:

Those who lack confidence often perceive the world as something that happens to them rather than something they interact with. This view can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where insecurity begets more insecurity. Instead, we should remind ourselves that we determine how we feel about our actions and the reactions of others. Our feelings about these things are within our control.

Dismiss the Spotlight Effect:

The spotlight effect is a psychological phenomenon where we think everyone is paying attention to us, judging us, and waiting for us to fail. Most people are preoccupied with their own lives and not overly focused on us. By removing the self-imposed spotlight, we can alleviate social anxiety and move through life more freely.

Challenge Fixed Beliefs:

The belief that you either "have it or you don't" is a fallacy that hinders change. We all develop self-perception through the interpretation of our experiences. Those who seem naturally confident likely had positive reinforcement early on, while those who lack confidence might not have. Changing our self-perception requires acknowledging that our interpretation of reality is not fixed and can be challenged.

Question Social Conditioning:

Society's rules and expectations can create insecurity. Social conditioning trains us to believe certain things about life, not because they are true, but because they have been repeated. By questioning these beliefs, we can break free from the constraints that hinder our confidence.

Building confidence requires us to challenge our beliefs, take ownership of our feelings, and remember that our perceptions are within our control. 

It's not about adding something to our lives or changing who we are; it's about removing the self-imposed limitations that prevent us from embracing our true potential and letting ourselves shine.

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